Lives Matter

Whenever a famous celebrity or a well known personality takes the most drastic and tragic step and commits suicide, people wake up to the aotherwise shunned subject and start wondering that why someone so successful and famous had to resort to this extreme action. If you too are wondering, “Why does someone take his own (otherwise much loved) life?”, then read till the end.

When someone loses all hope, gets engulfed in sorrow and feels worthless and miserable for bit longer than his endurance and is not snapped out of the feeling by someone or something, suicide happens.

“I have always believed that suicide is an accident because it is sudden and mostly a momentary decision.”

If someone is lucky, the moment of agony may pass and life may resume and eventually become better. Those who aren’t lucky on that day and time may not be pulled out of the trance at the exact moment and hell happens.

Many of us may have had that fleeting feeling at some point of time but either an internal voice or an external help might have helped the moment pass and here we are, well and alive.

“What is unfortunate, is not falling in the abyss of gloom at occasions, but not being pulled out before sense prevails.”

What should anyone do at such times of hopelessness when life feels like an unbearable pain and the desire to free self from the pain starts overpowering all love for life and logic?

If you are someone or know someone who gets such self-harming thoughts at times, do or tell the person to do the following.

  • If ever that feeling raises its ugly head, immediately get in touch with someone and talk your heart out. If one person isn’t available try contacting another person but reach out immediately.
  • Even if all is well these days still confide in to your closest people that you experience such thoughts on your rough days. It is absolutely okay to confess and ask someone to look out for signs and also to look out for you.
  • Take professional help to learn how to deal with the lows of life. This is the permanent solution. You need to learn to be stronger mentally and emotionally. There are experts who can understand your psyche and transform you into someone who will never think of ending his precious life.

Here I will share my thoughts on what is the biggest cause of such emotional weakness that leads to our emotional breakdown. The foremost reason for our depressed state of mind is dependence.

  • Dependence on people for love, attention, affection, support, companionship, etc.
  • Dependence on materials to feel accomplished and successful.
  • Dependence on success for feeling worthy.
  • Dependence on substance and toxins to feel good or happy.
  • Dependence on social approvals to feel good about self.

People who seek happiness, sense of worth, love, companionship, support from external sources are the weakest emotionally. It’s like others have the switch to your happiness and lack of it and what if these others are unavailable or insensitive to the person’s needs or rather than helping, start tormenting. Then breakdown occurs.

The recent tragedy is most probably an example of someone seeking love and support from a fraternity that is most competitive and very selectively supportive. When the sought out acceptance did not come, depression took hold of the mind and in that one weak moment when the mind felt completely lost and no help was available, life got lost.

Now everyone is blaming the people for being insensitive, unaccepting, nepotistic, closed to outsiders and what all. These are not some special species of self-centered snobs. In reality such people are everywhere. In schools, colleges, workplaces, offices, social circles, family groups, everywhere. Groupings happen everywhere and there are some lowly, lonely souls who do not get included in those groups.

It is definitely an insensitive thing to do but it happens. In the name of common interests, backgrounds; common friends; old relations, familiarities; same social, economic status; eliteness; whatever, but people form groups. This elite gathering then even indulge in mocking, bullying, ridiculing the lesser ones.

Unfortunately those on the sidelines seek approval from the same groups. They seek love and acceptance from their haters. Why? Because sadly they are usually the idols. It’s them that everyone wants to become. The unaccepting, uncaring, self indulging, mocking, jeering, shallow and hollow yet classy, successful, suave, good-looking people are the superstars everyone is chasing and intends to become. So their approval and acceptance matters.

Everyone wants to be a part of some such group and hence is running the race. Either one gets into the league or doesn’t. Those who gain the elite entry lose one’s own good self in the process. Those who don’t lose all hope and sometimes life.

Why do we have to be someone else or a part of those who don’t love us for who we are? Why can’t people see and love their own qualities and be proud and not seek anyone’s validation of them? Rather than following others’ trends and footprints why don’t they create their own mark to be modeled by others like them? Why need the coveted entry to a classy club? Why not form your own less classy but a more mature, intellectual, down to earth group that doesn’t look down on people rather works for some higher purpose? Why not prefer being alone than chasing hollow illusions and dummy appearances?

Read it, reread it and think about it. We are here to love and live our precious lives. We are perfect the way we are and with what we have. Strive to do and be better if that pleases you but don’t lose yourself in the process. Find the love, hope and strength inside the depths of your own being. When you do that you will see that divinity has become your ally and is guiding you to your rightful place.

Let’s be more mindful of our lives and the lives around us because, black or white, classy or non-classy, lives matter.